Tag Archives: self-doubt

Wandering and Pondering – A Way to Transcend Screaming Inadequacy

I’ve been approached by many congregants who say, “I’m trying to learn to love myself. When can I expect the inner voices of shame and self-doubt to go away?

My standard response to that question is, “I’ll get back to you when my own voices of shame and self-doubt disappear.”

Then I share what I’ve discovered through years of spiritual study and practice: no matter who you are and what you’ve accomplished, it’s normal to have a sense of inadequacy lurching around in your mind at times. Lurch lists your shortcomings. He plans potential failures. He tells you you’re not good enough and he’s quite skilled.

The best way to be with the lurching mind is to stop trying to control it. We can’t control the mind with the mind.  We just observe it. Then, instead of “thinking ourselves into a new way of living – we live ourselves into a new way of thinking.” (Richard Rohr)

I know this, because several years ago Lurch tried to ruin a wedding. My nephew Andrew was marrying his beloved Mark in New York City. I was invited to officiate.  Continue reading